17 Mar 09 ALL ABOUT SEX: PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL CHANGES DURING ADOLESCENCE

Adolescence is the transition from childhood to adulthood that includes dramatic developments in mental, physical, and social growth. It extends from the time we are about nine or 10 years old to our late teens. For some people, adolescence may last into their early 20s. Adolescence is a time of change, of pride, self-consciousness, and uncertainty. We do not feel like children or adults, and we are often treated as neither. We wonder about what is going on with our bodies and feelings, and we worry that these changes are noticed by our peers. We also wonder about just how normal we are.

The physical changes of adolescence are probably the most startling and obvious part of growing up. The rapid changes of our bodies, the growing importance of peers, and the sexual development of our lives can all contribute to confusion and stress. The physical changes associated with early or late onset of puberty can be particularly embarrassing. As adolescents, some of us experience weight problems or have severe acne. Whether short or tall, fat or thin, we have an increased self-consciousness about our bodies. We are very aware of our peers and are constantly comparing our stages of development with theirs.

We become very concerned with our appearance. Wearing the right or wrong clothes to school can determine whether we have a good or bad day. Not looking “right” can put barriers in the way of being accepted by our peers. Worrying about being cool or popular is a serious concern for us. We may need a lot of help to bridge the gap of feeling unwanted or disliked.

Feeling unwanted or disliked is quite common. As adolescents, we often have doubts about ourselves. We often don’t like ourselves very much. We need a lot of love, affection, and reassurance from our parents. It is really vital. But at the same time that we want our parents to share in what we are feeling from our peers and our own emotional turmoil, our parents become faced with the fact that their children have become sexual people! It can be hard to handle. We all have to be very patient with one another.

As sexual people, we have become more concerned, or even anxious, about masturbation and our erotic desires, dreams, and thoughts. Many of us may hear about sexual intercourse for the first time, and we may not be too happy about what we hear. We might be shocked or unbelieving that sex really happens like that! We may feel safer in the company of people of our own gender. That’s one of the reasons that adolescents often split into homosocial groups, in which girls make friends only with girls and boys make friends only with boys.

As adolescents, we have important emotional and educational needs. We want to know everything we can about relationships. Communication skills are critical. We need to talk about our feelings of confusion. We need our questions answered. We need open lines of communication. We need to learn these skills in order to make decisions and resolve conflicts. Decision making becomes increasingly complicated as we mature. Should I have sex? Should I drink alcohol? What kind of birth control should I use?

As adolescents, we also need information about pregnancy, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, and sexual abuse, before we are sexually active. We want our parents to give us the facts we need to stay healthy. We also want them to share the underlying values they have used to make their own decisions about sexuality.

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