17 Mar 09 ALL ABOUT SEX: SEXUAL DIVERSITY DURING ADOLESCENCE

Many teenagers struggle to understand their sexual identities. We wonder if certain things about us mean that we are women or men, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. We may not want to have sex with anyone, or we may like hanging out only with people of the same sex. We may have crushes on or fall in love with people of the same sex.

Exploring our sexual identities and orientation during our teen years can be a scary experience. Our society pressures us to be heterosexual—to be feminine women and masculine men. As young people, we are well aware of society’s negative attitudes toward homosexuality. We learn to use words like “fag,” “fern,” and “queer” on the playground to hurt other kids. We hear negative things about lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in many of our families. We may be reprimanded for dressing too feminine or masculine.

Some of us are called “tomboys.” Others are called “sissies.” Some people are aware of their sexual identities and orientation from childhood. Others become aware of it later in life. As they come to know their sexual identities and orientation, each youth has to make his or her own decision about coming out to family and friends. Coming out is the process of acknowledging, first to ourselves and then to others, that we are lesbian or gay, bisexual, or transgender. There may be great risks involved. We may alienate parents upon whom we are dependent for our daily needs. Coming out at school can be frightening when the approval of our peers and school officials is so very important.

Accepting ourselves as different from society’s sexual norms can be very difficult in American culture. Our society fears homosexuality and people whose identities are not clearly feminine or masculine. We are very likely to internalize our society’s negative views, and that can make us feel guilty and afraid of our sexual feelings.

These fears and uncertainties can lead to depression and confusion. Feeling isolated, alone, and hated might make us think about suicide. Nearly 30 percent of all teen suicides are committed by lesbian and gay youth. Lesbian and gay youth and those who are perceived to be are two to three times more likely to commit suicide than straight teens and six times more likely to think about suicide.

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