09 Apr 09 GAMES FOR PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COUPLES – GAME 4: ROLE REVERSAL (PART 3)

By mirroring each other, each one is forced to take a more objective look at himself or herself. Often they get angry at each other’s exaggerated portrayals, but sometimes they break into laughter. Laughter helps to release the tension and the pent-up frustration and anger that have accumulated during the course of the marriage. And by seeing their partner enact their own means of avoiding sexual intimacy they often begin to stop avoiding and (for example) actually look one another in the eyes during sex, even if that proves at first somewhat uncomfortable. Looking at each other eventually becomes the lesser of two evils, because they come to view not looking at each other as even more shameful.

Family therapists have long used role reversal as a technique in couples therapy. It is even more effective in the bedroom, where eroticism gives it a stronger impact. Using eroticism as a tool and role reversal as a technique, a couple will eventually take a new look at their usual mode of operation, begin to discuss new options, and come to enjoy a new sexual passion and comraderie. The aggressive partner becomes less aggressive, demanding, or controlling, and the passive partner less passive, appeasing, or controlling.

*57/196/1*